#5: The Arguements And Awkward Goodbye

I touched on the argument between my mother and myself regarding my brother and her inability to finally cut the cord and make him grow up. But that was not the only disagreement between the two of us. In fact, rarely and hour went by when we were not arguing about something, usually something stupid (like the color of Chris O'Donnell's hair.) But a few times stand out because they turned into all out rows that seriously made me reconsider ever spending long amounts of time with my mother again.

When I get busy and active I react like the opposite of most people, I lose my appetite. Most people, after a day of walking all around the city, would be ravenous and devour a huge meal. Me, I feel more sick to my stomach than hungry, making me force myself to eat just enough to have the energy I need but not overdo it so I get sick. Thus I usually only ate twice a day (my usual meals) of an early lunch and a late dinner. After you have been eating that way for so long it is hard to break that cycle. But I always drank plenty of fluids and never allowed myself get dehydrated. I just did not need as much food as my mother thought I did. So we were constantly arguing about what I should eat and how much and she was never satisfied. On the third day I finally told her I was an adult and I could make these decisions for myself and I was sued to only eating two meals a day because that is what my schedule allows. She then responded with the most cutting remark ever, although I am not sure she knew how it sounded when she said it (my mother has a tendency to speak things that sound like insults to the rest of us but perfectly reasonable to her."

"If you only eat twice a day I don't understand how you have gained all that weight."

I didn't speak to her for the rest of the day after that.

Then there were the arguments about us not doing what she wanted to do...three hours after that decision needed to be made (see previous post.) She would pout for hours and when it finally came out what was wrong she would explode and say she really really wanted to go to Ellis Island but we didn't, we just took the boat tour and she was upset. When in fact we had stood on the pier and upon seeing the very long line to get on the ferry to Ellis Island, decided we did not want to wait in line all day but would take the boat instead. Or I thought we had all decided that. I guess she agreed and secretly seethed about missing the opportunity to walk on Ellis Island for half the day. But we wouldn't have known that because she did not say anything (see previous post.) So I was to blame for that one too.

But the biggest argument was about church. My mother and I have always had a problem with me going (or actually my lack of going) to church. I have been trying to get her to understand I do not like organized religion for some time now. I do not agree with someone telling me how to have my faith. I keep my faith and pray in my own way, I do not need to go to church to do that. She sees it differently and we are always butting heads over this. So right away I told her on no uncertain terms was I going to church on Sunday my last day in the city. She of course blew a gasket and proceeded to dog me about it from Wednesday until Saturday. Finally just to get her off my back I agreed to go to church but only if we went to the Actor's church across the street from the Spring Awakening theatre. And lo and behold, it happened to be Catholic. SO she agreed.

The mass hadn't even started yet and the alter boys walk out and light that damned incense I am allergic to. To avoid getting a full blast as they walk down the aisle I move to the very back of the church. But soon I am hacking and coughing and unable to breathe. So I leave and walked around the block to get some water. I waited outside until mass was over and my mother and Andrea came out. I did not dare leave because they would not know where I had gone since my mother never leaves her cell on and never checks it any way (why she brought it so we could stay in contact with each other is beyond me...but we were hardly ever apart anyway so I guess it didn't matter.) When they emerged from the church my mother, without asking if I was okay or being concerned in any way, gave me a disgusted look and said "You know it wasn't really that bad, you should have stayed and contributed to the service."

"Contributed how? By throwing up a lung?"

"I didn't have any trouble breathing, did you Andrea?"

"You're not allergic to it!!" I bellowed. "Do you forget me almost passing out at the church when you came to visit because of that incense or has that slipped your mind?"

At this point I am so enraged I can barely contain myself. And then nothing, me and my silly non-existent problem are forgotten and the discussion of what we are going to do before leaving for home ensues. I tell them we are going to Macy's since they had been talking about it for two days. So we walked to the store, found a cafe and I promptly told them I was going to Greenwich Village and would see them at the hotel later and walked out. I walked around for a long time and came back to the hotel to wait for my shuttle to the airport to arrive. Feeling a bit bad about how we left things, I called my mother several times throughout the three hours to find out where they were to meet up but never got a response. I sat alone in the hotel lobby (we had already checked out) and waited for them. Then my mom and Andrea walked in fifteen minutes before my shuttle was to arrive, bubbling about the store and how the walked to the Empire State Building. I told them I had called and my mother said her phone never rang. Of course. I asked why she didn't try to call me and she said she just didn't think about it.

At this time I had found out, due to the Dominican parade closing down W46th street, that I had to walked down the block to catch my shuttle. So I gathered up my things and said goodbye. It was the most awkward goodbye ever. I didn't say I had fun, I didn't say it was great to see them, I just hugged Andrea goodbye and hugged my mom and told her I loved her and left. They were walking to the train station so we parted ways in the lobby. And that was it.

Or so I thought.

I was standing on the corner of 47th and 7th, waiting for my shuttle and here comes my mom and Andrea pulling their suitcases behind them. They had to walk to the station that way to around the crowds from the parade. So they waited with me a bit but were worried they were going to miss their train. So we said goodbye again, hugged and they walked off, never knowing if I got on my shuttle or not. Obviously I did but I figured my mom was as mad as I was because she never even called to tell me they got on the train. I did call and leave a message when I got to the airport but that was it for a week. I did not speak to my mother for a week after that until she had my father call me and then he asked, what to talk to your mother before I could say no.

She's sneaky like that.

And that is that. I am done remembering that awful trip. I am sure I am forgetting lots but I have not the strength or the desire to try and tell you more. They shall be my own private demons from now on. But I bet you get the gist of why this was not a very fun trip.